The Self-Loathing Game
One of the saddest ways to lose a life,
Is not to lose it at all,
But to sell it away for shiny things,
To unworthy people who come to call,
To give up a real friend and a chance at real love,
For the approbation of those who don’t care,
To be unable to imagine a humble life,
With someone whom you knew you could pair.
To not listen to your own heart,
Or be able to make your own choices,
At beck and call of shallow concerns,
And the mandates of faceless voices.
Unable to choose to do the right thing,
Unable even to pay a debt you owe,
Because you’ll be judged and have to admit
That you missed him in suffering woe.
But you just cannot do it,
Tell yourself you don’t want to,
Make yourself miserable inside,
Stop yourself from being true,
Instead to have to choose from dreadful bottom feeders,
Though they have fancy houses and cars,
But they got them in ways that were not good,
And left many people with scars.
As they will do to you too,
You know they seek others still,
You are nothing to them,
But a convenient little pill.
But you’ll de what you’re told,
Do what’s expected,
And let him drift away,
Your self-esteem gone, rejected.
But you’d rather have them
Than admit to your sins,
You’d rather have nothing real
Than admit anything to him.
Real love and real friendship
Aren’t worth the trial,
Only avoiding the judgments
Of those not worthwhile.
Sex based in passion and love,
Not the base trading of skin,
Is not for you ever,
Because you let hatred win.
To have undying loyalty,
You’re convinced you’re too proud,
Instead you could have lots of stuff,
And a passionless man not endowed.
It’s not even hatred of him,
But hatred of what you’ve allowed
To let yourself become,
You heart screams aloud,
To stab yourself for nothing,
For dinners and rings,
Limit your entire life,
For coos of sweet nothings,
To choose self-degradation
Is a horrible thing,
To deny yourself only
Because of self-loathing.