Gut pit,
For him, a permanent reminder, an eternal empty,
Useless loss, insincerity, betrayal.
For her, unrecognized longing made negative by upbringing,
His emotional instability? No, backwards definitions,
She sees coldhearted as mature, shallow as wordly,
Aiming for something those deemed worthy can never provide,
No love, no real bond, no deep desire. Merely roleplay,
Only using and two-facedness,
To end in pain. Sought again.
A learned desire. Definition ingrained by rote. Upbringing.
That unacknowledged abuse.
Bad relationships on repeat loop, past and future fated badly.
Raised to select aloof man-children, believing it “real life”
Users.
Marriage.
Then offspring.
A longboard in the middle of a busy road,
Oblivious, adult infancy crossing lanes of traffic,
Playing in the street like an unaware toddler,
No need to mature.
Mommy cooks. Mommy cleans. Mommy shields. Mommy stunts.
Mommy recreates the stunted males she seeks,
Future relationship disasters, poor future women.
She, lost in exaggerations and paranoia,
A cycle of infantilization,
Spoiled, fetidly.
An adult ingesting pablum, hiding from growth,
Stuck in a time warp,
No awareness. Delusions reign over honesty.
Refusal of guilt and chosen suffering.
Love and bare bones honesty rejected,
Tossed in a pit, dug by her own hand.